“Excuse me, madam, but are you perchance at liberty this evening for libations or the cinema?”

“Um, what?!”

“Sorry. Are you free tonight for drinks or a movie?”

“Oooooh. I guess so…weirdo.”

Unless a guy lives in London in 1893 (or maybe hipster Portland in 2014), he would never ask a girl out with words like “perchance” and “libations.” That would be crazy, right?

Well, young professionals today actually do use an elaborate two-word expression all the time, and it needs to end.

“SUCH AS”

The tiny phrase might seem insignificant, but “such as” screams out, especially to an employer. It says: “I’m trying to impress you. Pleeeeease hire me!”

Plus, if you plan to use Facebook’s new “Ask” button to land a date, you’d better be authentic — in these 11 ways — and talk like yourself. Think you can do that, “perchance”?

Just. Be. You.

I have written before about the danger of “overdoing it” with job-related documents such as like resumes and cover letters. Oops, see how easily it slips in there?

 Check out: Don’t Try to Sound Smart. It Only Makes You Look Dumb.

For example, “My internship taught me a range of skills such as project management, problem solving and time management.”

NO ONE uses “such as” in normal conversation. So why write it? Oh, I know why…

“Such as”  is a classic college move. Back then, we all packed in unnecessary words to appear intellectual and mature, particularly on 10-pagers like “To Tweet or Not to Tweet” (actual term paper topic).

In the real world, fancy shmancy phrases are non-starters and don’t allow the employer to understand the real you. Proper grammar and punctuation always matter, but natural language lets you connect on deeper level.

More empty rhetoric:

– Utilize (big, useless word)

– Detail oriented (don’t tell me, show me)

– Responsible (should be implied)

When you finish writing and start the revision process (hint: print out the page to spot errors), make sure you search the document for “such as” and these ten problematic words and phrases (ex: “that”).

Be normal. Be enjoyable to read.

Remember: when it comes to documents like job applications, the reader is the only person who matters.

Agree with the “such as” critique?

Share below!

 Featured photo: maura_monahan (Flickr)

Danny Rubin — 25 Things Every Young Professional Needs To Know By Age 25